Monday 17th January 2022

Struggle

Seventy years of struggle
Not fifty but seventy
It’s never ending
You think I could let go by now
But no
Something keeps gnawing at me
Something wants recognition
Like a dog at a bone
But this dog is barking
Up the wrong tree
Struggle
Fight
Bark louder
Fight harder
Don’t let them put you
In the bottom class this time
Alas
They don’t want what you have
They never did
They don’t understand you
They don’t get you
They take the easy way
Easier to let you stand and wait
Easier to leave you there
Waiting to be picked
But you still need to be wanted
You are a brilliant fool
Craving the attention of someone
Someone that doesn’t
see your worth
And never did
Never will
Seventy years of struggle
Not fifty
You understood me mom
You told me how it is
Ooo our John
What’s going to become of you
Nothing mom
Nothing
I have to submit to it I guess
I’m not going to make it
I’m barking up the wrong tree
And nobody will understand
What all the fuss was about
Not in the end
What a waste of fucking time

Bish 17th January 2022

Rising on Jan. 17, this lunation is asking us to face our deepest feelings and fears and the spiritual meaning of the Wolf Moon is about stepping up as a fierce protector and nurturer in our own lives.

The Wolf Moon

Last night there was a wolf moon
The first moon of another year
It sat in the sky above my sleeping
I saw it through the drawn curtains
I had to go take a look
A wolf moon but it did not howl
Instead the rain dashed against the window
The moon blazed and made me pass my thumb across it
This year I may outlive my fathers age
Thinking on this I retuned to my bed
“I love my bed” he would say to me
And I would watch him snuggle
And move his legs
“I love my bed”
In the morning the world was grey
I had to turn on lights to stop my sunken brow
The rain now filled the air with a shower
The drops so light that they were on the wind
It’s another year
It’s another morning
Be alive

Bish January 1st 2018