Who are UppyALf .

This page will tell you all there is to know about the history of cuddlesome Twosome.


True Love.

Yes UppyALf ….Upton and ALf.

Where does one start? Should I OLD FART tell the tale the history of histories or LILY? Or should I get the boys to tell you their tale?


ALf was born at an Earth date approximately 3.5 million EARTH  years ago on a planet called, Sitem Ax12 That is the closest name we can make out in relation to English. It resides in the Galaxy we have named NGC 3314 and consists of two large spiral galaxies which just happen to almost exactly line-up. The foreground spiral is viewed nearly face-on, its pinwheel shape defined by young bright star clusters. But against the glow of the background galaxy, dark swirling lanes of interstellar dust are also seen to echo the face-on spiral’s structure. The dust lanes are surprisingly pervasive, and this remarkable pair of overlapping galaxies is one of a small number of systems in which absorption of visible light can be used to directly explore the distribution of dust in distant spirals. NGC 3314a is about 140 million light-years away in the southern constellation of Hydra.. Alf calls this star cluster  “Hateem”. HOME.


What the Earth Bound Wikipedia Says: of  NGC3314.

Alf in MAD Magazine.

NGC 3314 is a pair of overlapping spiral galaxies between 117-140 million light-years away in the constellation Hydra. The foreground galaxy (NGC 3314a) is seen almost directly face-on. This virtually unique arrangement gives astronomers a chance to measure the properties of interstellar dust that create the dark areas silhouetted against the background galaxy (NGC 3314b).

While searching for overlapping galaxies in April 1999, two astronomers from the University of Alabama were the first to image the deep sky object in enough detail to tell that it was in fact two galaxies. In a March 2000 observation of the galaxies, a prominent green Star-like object was seen in one of the arms. Astronomers theorized that it could have been a supernova, but the unique filtering properties of the foreground galaxy made it difficult to decide definitively. ALf says that this GREEN is the spot where his HOME is located.

ALf’s Child Time.

ALf spent his early years this would be between 3.5 and 3.7 million Earth years on his home planet studying mathamatics and science.

Rapid growth is normal amongst the residents of ALf’s home. And  this initial growth would find ALf fully mature. He we call ALf he because he prefers that is really NON-SEXED he has no bits and his species reproduce by thinking about it.




ALf was an adventure stricken soul and at an early age he designed and built a craft that could take him anywhere he wanted. This he has found since his early days is now completely unnecessary. He only has to think of a destination or look and decide at a location in the sky above where ever he is and he can transport himself there at once. MIND POWER.

ALf's Ship.

He has been in many different galaxies and can even be in several places at the same time.

Some people say they have seen him in places and at times in the history of this Earth and this is in fact true. People choose it to be an illusion as most of the human species cannot believe in what Alf can really do.

Alf decided to come to Earth in 1952 to coincide with the birth of a certain human.

Help the Aged Store.

He was living in a store room at the back of a charity store in the 1970’s and although he went out and about with his MIND POWER most of his time was spent helping out in this charity organisation Help The Aged because he really enjoyed the company of Mrs Hillbent who worked in the shop from 1971 until she passed away in 1994.

At this point in time OLD FART, LILY and Uppy came into the store.

OLD FART was the reason Alf had come to Earth this time, and now Mrs Hillbent had passed away Alf had used his MIND POWER to draw OLD FART into the shop. It was not however OLD FART that ALf wanted but what OLD FARt had with him Uppy.

ALf had problems getting in contact with Uppy as Uppy’s brain is stuffed with all sorts of odd thoughts so he used OLD FART and LILY to bring Uppy to him.


My earliest memory is of the Chinese Shaman who made me. She was beautiful with wide almond eyes and ruby lips. I have loved women ever since.

She promised me I would be special, and so it has been. She breathed life into me and gave me the sparkle in my eyes and sent me on my way.

It wasn’t a very glamorous journey, packed in tissue paper and into a box of odds and ends, I was put on a plane to England, where, my maker said, I was destined to begin my new life.

Unpacked, and put in a shop window, I felt naked and alone apart from a few dead flies. It was easy to Mstand out in such a gloomy window though, and it wasn’t long before my magnetic charm and sparkling eyes were seen by my new muses passing by the window. Lily and Old Fart.

I knew straight away that they were to be my helpers in this world, my constant and loving companions and the ones who would enable me to fulfil my destiny.

Lily could not resist my hypnotic eyes. She was drawn to me as thousands have been since.  She sent her willing slave Old Fart in to purchase me.  This he did, although it was a bit embarrassing as he got the shopkeeper to knock off some money.  Little did they know that I was worth every penny, as their lives were to be changed forever.


The shop, I found out from Lily, was in Upton on Severn and so I was called Upton or Uppy for short. We sat by the river eating sandwiches and drinking beer. I was safe and loved, and in return I would love them, share their lives and inspire them in all they did.

3 Responses to “Who are UppyALf .”

  1. HI
    Im helen
    i met you today remember :/
    Lime cordial umm yum:)
    Very cool but slightly random but lifes random 🙂

  2. I love both uppy and alf forever…..Yes and uppy is quite the ladies man. that twinkle in his eyes got to me also!!!!

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